Worth It
by ShellSueD
Summary: Ranger reevaluates his life choices and arrives at the only logical conclusion.


_JE owns the rights to anything familiar. The mistakes are all mine._

Happy very, very, _very_ belated birthday, **_LilyGhost_**.

* * *

When I first met Stephanie, I had no idea how important to me she should would eventually become.

She started out as an obligation, one I wasn't thrilled about fulfilling, but the second she walked into that cafe, I knew I'd made the wrong assumption. Full of fire and determination and just a little bit of desperation, she'd easily put me in my place when I initially tried to blow her off. Not five minutes later I found myself agreeing to show her a few bounty hunting tips, which quickly turned into a full-on mentoring situation, and before I was even aware it was happening, we'd become close friends.

Then, it seemed in a blink of an eye, we were much, _much_ more.

After I came to the realization she was the majority of the reason I looked forward to getting up in the mornings, I was forced to do a great deal of soul searching…something I avoided at all costs, but the tenacious woman got under my skin and burrowed her way right into my heart, a place I thought had turned to stone long ago.

The awareness I wanted her, and for far more than some occasional fun in the bedroom, was a complete shock to my system and a threat to the lifestyle I'd spent a great deal of effort cultivating so I fought it at every turn. When I felt she was getting too attached, I'd shove her away with the selfish and shitty excuses I used for anyone with whom I'd ever chosen to share a bed.

In Stephanie's case, I went so far as to push her right into another man's arms and still, at the end of every day, I couldn't imagine any kind of future without her in it.

It took me way longer that it should have but I finally made the life-altering decision to make her mine. I knew the task wouldn't be easy as I'd made a million missteps already, but the most difficult obstacle would be trying to convince her I was ready to have the kind of relationship I kept swearing up and down I did not want.

Sending her back to Morelli was the worst of the mistakes, and one I wasn't sure I could rectify, but I was determined to try.

So, _naturally_ , I was called away to work.

The bounty on Paco Antunez, arrested twice for assault with a deadly, was twenty grand and with word on the street he had ties to the Tijuana drug cartel, I didn't want Vinnie assigning his capture to Steph if I wasn't available. When some reliable Intel came in he'd fled to Mexico, Manny and I were on the first plane to San Diego and crossed the border in San Ysidro.

The timing was unfortunate.

Knowing the path I'd just chosen, one that included putting her first as much as possible, a better man would have delegated the job to someone else. I could have sent Tank or Bobby or even Lester, however my control-freak tendencies had me on the first flight out the same night.

I _did_ leave with the assumption I'd be gone a week, two at the max, and then she and I would be able to continue the discussion which had been abruptly cut off at the most inopportune of moments.

Sadly, things didn't go exactly as planned.

Seventy-five frustrating days and two bullet holes later is what it ended up taking to return the nefarious Paco to the custody of Trenton's finest. The mission turned out to be highly unpredictable at best but the term Manny used on day twenty-eight, when we were ambushed in a little village just outside Ensenada, was c _lusterfuck_. Though, to be fair, the wayward round which sliced through his calf might have been a contributing factor to the description. By the time we made it back to Jersey, we were exhausted and a little worse for wear, but in the end had captured our target.

Typically, the first thing I required upon return from an operation gone bad was a full review of what could have been done differently. However, because of the way I'd left things so _unsettled_ between us, my singular focus when we exited the police station was to see Stephanie.

I was just hoping she'd welcome my return and not shoot me in my other shoulder.

"You gonna have Bobby look at that injury?" Manny asked while he whipped the SUV around the corner and onto Haywood.

Apparently I'd been subconsciously rubbing the spot and he'd noticed. "No, it's fine."

"Sure it is," he said with a slight eye roll. He'd been lucky; the bullet in his leg passed through cleanly but the one _I_ took imbedded itself into the muscle of my shoulder and Manny and I spent a good twenty minutes digging it out. It still ached a little, but I wasn't worried.

As we entered the Rangeman garage, I changed the subject to something I knew would make his night. "The debrief will be postponed until tomorrow so get some rest and I'll see you at 0600."

Manny gave me some side eye. "Seriously? Tank's gonna be pissed."

My second in command did hate when anything deviated from protocol, but he'd just have to get over it. "I'll deal with Tank. Enjoy your night."

I was sure Manny knew exactly why I was ignoring my own rules but he was wise enough not to question it and took the elevator up to the resident apartments on four. I pulled out my phone as I headed toward the stairs and it rang in my hand before I had time to press the speed dial. The smile split my face the second her voice hit my ears.

"Yo."

"Oh," she replied after a brief pause following my standard greeting. "I was expecting voicemail. Are you…are you back?"

"Yes, I just got in."

I detected a hint of nervousness, but mostly relief in the exhaled breath. "Good. I don't suppose I could talk you into helping me with a skip. Wait, never mind; I'm sure you're tired and have other things you need to take care of..."

"Where are you?" I asked, interrupting her rapid backtracking.

"I can handle this, Ranger. I'm sure I'll see you later…right?"

"Absolutely and you'll see me _now_ , too. Give me the address or I'll have control find you."

She hesitated, but only for a second before relaying her location and though I would have liked to have cleaned up first, I climbed into my Cayenne and headed her way. I was grateful she still wanted to have anything to do with me after what I'd requested of her before leaving so the shower could wait. I didn't want _her_ to have to any more.

The address was only a ten-minute drive and I eased behind the powder-blue Cadillac wondering what disaster had befallen the relatively new Toyota she'd been driving when I'd left.

I caught her gaze in her rearview mirror when I exited my Porsche and the flash of excitement I saw in those deep blue depths gave me hope I hadn't completed screwed up our relationship, such as it was.

Sliding into the passenger seat, I fell back into the familiar pattern I always did when I wanted to avoid anything serious. It was a habit I really needed to break but cracked the joke anyway. "Nice inconspicuous vehicle; I almost didn't spot you."

Stephanie raised an eyebrow. "Lester is wrong; you _do_ have a sense of humor."

I couldn't stop the grin. "My cousin wouldn't know funny if it bit him on the ass."

She gave me a full smile and I had to resist the urge to yank her across the bench seat and take that grinning mouth with my own. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too, Babe. Let's get this FTA of yours so I can show you how much."

Stephanie handed me the file and I skimmed through it quickly. The last page told me why she'd asked for help and I fought a smile. "So what's your plan?" I queried, knowing she probably didn't have one, and returned the folder.

There was a brief expression of incredulity before she blurted, "My plan was to follow _your_ plan!"

"What were you going to do if I hadn't shown up?"

"Probably sit here and wait for him to come out on his own…hopefully sans any _creatures_."

My lips twitched at the corners, partially in amusement, but mostly from a strong need to taste hers. I gave into the desire and fisted a handful of her Rangeman polo to drag her to me. I slanted my mouth over hers, slipping my tongue inside when her jaw dropped on a gasp of surprise. Heat burst to life between us, like the flash of a lightning bolt. It had been too long since I'd been able to touch her and I really wanted to take my time so the front seat of Big Blue wasn't the ideal spot.

I reluctantly pulled away and brushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek. "Is this my shirt?" I asked, straightening the mess I'd made of the collar.

A slight blush tinted her cheeks. "Maybe. You might have left a few items at my apartment and I haven't gotten to my laundry yet this week."

"You don't need the excuse, what's mine is yours, Steph. Let's go see if we can get your Mr. Carter to peacefully be taken back into custody."

I heard a snort of doubt, but she followed me up the broken brick path leading to the dilapidated little row house. At one time it might have been an olive green but years in the sun and little to no upkeep from the owner had faded it to an undistinguishable shade of neglect. There was a week's worth of newspapers piled on the front stoop and I used my boot to push them aside as I utilized the old-fashioned door knocker.

Stephanie was at my side but when we heard the deadbolt disengage, she shuffled behind me and I could feel her peeking over my left shoulder. The door swung open and Randall Carter peered out at us with pale blue eyes.

"Holy crap," Steph muttered and I felt her hands dig into my hips. I wasn't sure if the reaction was because she'd never seen an albino before or because Mr. Carter had a tarantula perched on each shoulder and one crawling up the side of his face.

"Bond enforcement," I said. "You missed your court date, Randall, and your friend there is trying to escape." I gestured to the yellow python attempting to slither through his legs and right out the door.

"Jesus!" Stephanie yelped and attempted to pull us both off the stoop.

"Relax," I soothed. "It's not poisonous."

"This is a level right above _clown_ on my creepy scale and so very much _not_ a relaxing type situation," she challenged. Her nails dug further into my skin when the snake touched my boot.

"Don't worry, Lola just wants to say Hello. She's real friendly," Randall informed us and scooped the reptile up of the floor. He held her out to us while she wrapped around his forearm and the spider on his face scurried up to the top of his head making it look like he was wearing a furry, brown toupee on top of his white hair.

"I'm sure she is. Listen, Randall, we need to take you down to the station and get you rebonded."

The frown instantly marred his nearly transparent face. He jerked his snake-covered arm back to his chest and began stroking Lola's scaly head. "Oh. No, I can't do that. The children don't like it when I leave them alone."

I kept the sigh mostly internal and cut a glance at Steph over my shoulder. She only offered a shrug. "It will take an hour, tops. I'm sure they'll be fine for an hour."

He was shaking his head before I finished the sentence and anticipating a total circumvention, I manage to get my boot over the threshold before he could slam the door in our faces. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Randall," I said, advancing into the house and reaching for the gun on my belt. "And I'm really not in the mood for the hard way."

His living room was filled to capacity with various cages and tanks containing all manner of reptiles and arachnids but I kept my focus on his panicking features. People tended to get a little uptight when a loaded gun was in the vicinity.

"Ranger…wait," I heard Stephanie contest behind me. "Isn't there something we can do without weaponry getting involved? Like, maybe you can stay here and watch after the… _children_ while I take Randall down to the station?"

I turned my head to respond and found her hovering in the doorway. A few months ago she'd had a run-in with a psychopath who'd tortured her with snakes and spiders so I knew there was no way she'd actually come inside with the objectionable menagerie.

"Yeah, yeah, that would work," Randall agreed readily. I was sure the gun trained on his heart was the reason for his sudden amenable attitude.

I gave Steph my best _'Seriously?'_ face but holstered my weapon at her pleading expression. "Don't make me regret this, Randall," I warned.

I secured him inside her car by handcuffing him to the grip bar so he couldn't attempt an escape while Stephanie and I had a short conversation.

"You're gonna owe me for this, Babe."

"I know, and it was totally worth it." She shot a look at the house and involuntarily shuddered. "Are you really going to stay here?"

"That depends. Will you be bringing Randall back right away? We have a long overdue conversation to finish."

The look on her face mirrored her FTA's when I drew my gun. "Oh. Yeah. I guess we do….It might have to wait though, I have a few other people to go after today. Vinnie's been in a snit about me not being quicker with recoveries and it's Friday so I'm expected at my Mother's for dinner at six…" Her eyes darted to her watch and then her car and anywhere but my face.

She excelled at avoidance, especially if it was something that scared her…like her feelings, but I wasn't going to let her dodge me forever. "No problem. I'll be over after dinner."

Her mouth fell open, I was sure to protest, so I covered it with mine and kissed her until her knees started to give out. "See you around seven, Steph."

I left her standing on the sidewalk in front of the house and went inside with the creatures. I wasn't going to stay, but I didn't want to give her any more time to come up with another excuse for us not to talk. I watched her from the window until she motored off with Randall and then called Bones to come and babysit until he was bonded out again.

Heading back to Rangeman, I made a mental list of the things which needed my attention, if only to distract my brain from focusing entirely on Stephanie and what I would need to say to her to convince her I was serious about starting a life together.

Tank was up first. It would give him great joy to give me shit about postponing the debrief, I just wouldn't let him know it would be a welcome diversion to pass the time until I could see her again.

I found him in conference room two when I arrived back at the building and his partner-in-crime when I was out in the field was at his side. They were tackling a stack of paperwork a foot high and my second-in-command's expression could only be described as cranky.

"Welcome back, sir," Hank greeted when I breeched the threshold. He was about the same size as Tank but that is where the similarities ended between the two men. Hank was as white as Tank was black, except for the smear of freckles covering most of his nose and his hair was the golden red of a setting sun. There was usually a smile on his friendly face and he flashed all his teeth at me, making Tank roll his eyes.

"Hey, Hank. You keeping this guy in line?"

"Always, sir," he replied and I thought Tank's dark brown orbs might roll right out of his head.

"You're due for weapons training in ten, Hank," Tank gruffly pointed out, dismissing the giant ginger in his not-so-subtle way.

I got an eyebrow wag from him on his way out and I slid into a chair across from Tank when we were alone. He kept his head bent over the papers, scribbling his name when needed. I knew he'd speak to me eventually and only had to wait him out a few minutes.

"Manny says you've postponed debrief."

"That's right."

"It negates the protocol _you_ set."

"I'm aware."

He expelled a breath of frustration and eyed me critically. "It's hard to get the men to follow the rules when you keep breaking them."

"They're paid to do what I say not what I do and they know the consequences if they don't."

I could tell he wanted to roll his eyes again but he changed the subject instead.

"How's the shoulder?"

"I'll live."

"Manny thinks Bobby should take a look."

"Manny's not a doctor."

"Neither are you."

"It's fine. I'll see Bobby if that changes."

Tank dropped his pen and pushed away from the enormous mahogany table. "How is Stephanie?"

It took longer than I calculated for him to bring her up. "Fine, as far as I can tell. Were there any issues while I was gone?"

"Two, but nothing major. She called control for help, after verifying you weren't back yet."

"Did she spot her tails?"

"Twice, but only because I tried out the new guy. He needs a lot more training."

"I'm sure you will have him up to standards in no time or cut him loose if he can't hack it."

"True. He'll be fine, I think. He just needs to learn to anticipate her and her… _'spidey'_ sense."

I nearly laughed at the expression on his face while using her term for her extraordinary intuition.

"Morelli?" I queried, and found myself holding my breath for the answer.

He shook his head. "Not as far as I can tell." Tank leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over his massive chest and got down to the conversation we were _really_ having. "Did this mission make you reevaluate your decision?"

I'd only confided my plans in one person and he was as skeptical now as he was then.

"No. If anything it reaffirmed I made the right choice."

He was quiet a beat before saying, "I never thought I'd see the day when _anything_ could get you to take a step back."

"Me either...but she's worth it."

Tank allowed a small tilt to his lips. "Yeah, I know."

I spent another half an hour with him, going over the things that needed my attention and signature before retiring to the penthouse apartment for some much needed sleep. After a long shower, which was also very much needed, I settled down between the sheets with visions of Stephanie filling my head as it hit the pillow.

000OOO000

In general, nothing much surprised me, but when she showed up at my door at close to four o'clock, soaking wet, bruised and covered in glitter, I was genuinely taken aback. I was positive I would have to hunt her down and force her to listen to me so her arrival, unrequested and unannounced, was a little out of the ordinary.

"Are you okay? I pulled her into the foyer and brushed my fingers over the dark bruise surfacing on her right bicep.

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"No, I do not."

She was obviously frustrated and annoyed, whether at me or whatever had occurred to leave her in this state, I couldn't be sure. "Not even about the glitter?"

That almost got me a smile. "May I use your shower?" She had already started to head in that direction while she was asking and I trailed after.

"Yes. Do you need help?"

That _did_ get me a smile and a raised eyebrow glance over her shoulder. "No, I do not," she repeated and disappeared inside my bathroom.

While she cleaned up I made a call to Ella and requested chocolate cake and a bottle of wine. Stephanie would want both and I wanted to make sure she got whatever she desired. Ella raised both eyebrows at the trail of glitter making the floor sparkle but wisely didn't comment when she dropped off the domed tray and the wine.

Stephanie emerged glitter-free twenty minutes later with her wet hair tied up on top of her head and dressed only in one of my Rangeman t-shirts. I tried my best to keep my eyes off her silky smooth legs and focused on her beautiful face. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was purposely trying to distract me.

"Dammit," she muttered upon seeing the poured glass of wine and the slice of cake I'd plated for her.

"Problem, Babe?"

"Yes. It's really hard to stay mad when you do stuff like this." She sighed and forked a small bite into her mouth.

"And you're mad at me or the glitter bomber?"

She had another bite before responding, closing her eyes in bliss of the sugar rush or because she didn't want to look at me. "Both."

"Let's talk about it."

Her gaze landed on my face. "Okay, but you have to put on a shirt. I can't think straight with your perfect abs in full view."

I glanced down at my bare torso and bit back a smile. It was good to know she could be as distracted as I was. "Sure," I agreed and brushed by her on the way to the bedroom. "But I can say the same thing about your perfect legs. I'll bring you some sweats."

When we were both completely clothed, I led her to the couch and handed her the glass of wine as she settled into the cushions. I filled the armchair next to the end table so we could look at each other while we talked.

She took two small sips of the crimson liquid before saying, "Do you want to go first?"

I shook my head. "No. It's rare when you voluntarily want to talk so you first." I knew why she was upset with me but I wanted her to be able to express it without prompting.

"That's rich. Getting you to say more than a sentence at a time is like pulling teeth but I'll say what I came to say." She swigged a significantly larger mouthful of wine and then said exactly what I was expecting.

"You asked me to stop dating Morelli."

"Yes."

"You also asked that I not date anyone else either."

These weren't questions, but I answered anyway. "Yes again."

"And then you disappeared for two and a half months with no reason or explanation given! What the hell, Ranger? Were you expecting me to _not_ be upset?"

"I expected you'd be angry and I also expected I'd have to hunt you down to get you to discuss it so this is a surprise. _Did_ you stop seeing Morelli?"

"Really? _That's_ what you want to talk about?"

"Not in particular but your answer could render the rest inconsequential."

Stephanie gulped down the rest of her wine and pulled her legs up underneath her. "Before you left you made it sound like…you really made it seem like you might be reconsidering your 'no relationships' stance and I…I didn't want to get my hopes up because…" She trailed off and stared intently into her empty wine glass.

"That's exactly what I was trying to express, Babe. I'm sorry it took me so long and I'm sorry I had to leave before I could explain my intentions to you fully."

Her eyes left the glass and rose to meet mine. They were full of tears and hope and a tiny bit of doubt.

"I'm serious, Stephanie. We, and by that I mean mostly me, have wasted too much time ignoring the fact that we belong together and I don't want to waste a single moment anymore…but none of that matters if you still want to be with Morelli."

The eye roll which followed that sentence rivaled Tank's. "Jesus, Ranger. I haven't seen even a glimpse of Morelli since way before you left and I don't care if I ever see him again. You are the only one I've wanted to be with pretty much since we met but you keep being an idiot about it. The last thing I remember you were telling me to fix things with him and then two weeks later you asked me to not see him anymore. Do you see why this is confusing?"

I was really lucky she hadn't run as fast and as far away from me as she could. "Yes, I do, and there aren't enough apologies to give you so let me clarify what I mean. I want you. In any and every way imaginable and I can't see any type of future where that will no longer be the case. I want yours to be the first face I see every morning and the last before I go to sleep and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen, including not doing jobs which will take me away from you for extended periods of time."

Her eyes widened and she leapt to her feet, depositing the wine glass on the table. "No. No way! I don't want you changing for me. You'll end up regretting it and then you'll resent me and I…I don't want that for us. I don't want you to feel like you can't be _you_. I love you just as you are."

My whole body went still. She'd never said the words out loud before. "You love me?"

A hand shot out and smacked me on my injured shoulder, a lot harder than I anticipated, and I winced at the sting. "Don't act like you don't know that! Did you just _wince_? What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, it's fine. I'm not going to change, Steph. I don't think I'm capable of it; I'm just talking about being more _selective_ about certain jobs. And for the record, I'd never want you to change who you are either, but if we're going to make this work, there will have to be compromises on both sides and that's just one, of what I'm sure will be many, I'm willing to make. Whatever concessions that have to happen will be worth if we get to be together, don't you think?"

She slowly lowered herself back onto the couch "Well, yeah."

"Good," I said. "Then let's get started."

"Okay. Wait, what just happened?"

My lips tilted up at the corners. "We just decided to be together."

"We did?" I found the perplexed expression on her face completely adorable.

"We did and I'm in the mood to celebrate." I got to my feet, grabbed her hand to pull her up, and led her towards my room.

"And that's going to begin in the bedroom?"

"Yes. Any objections?"

"I can't think of a single one," she said, slipping out of my grip and moving in front of me. She lifted off my t-shirt and let it fall to the floor.

There would be no more questions or concerns or second-guessing. Anything and everything was worth it to make this woman permanently mine.


End file.
